Michael Cox

A Message From Michael Cox

Welcome back! / Greetings new reader! / I’m a little teapot ...

The Story So Far...

Since Michael last updated his web site he’s...

• Made sure that he’ll live until he’s at least one hundred and fifty two ...
  by drinking five thousand cartons of Long Life Milk
• Shaken hands with Wayne Rooney, Tony Blair, and the Queen ...
  and had a terrific day out at Madame Tussauds
• Been bitten by a horse, which he then slapped senseless, reducing it to a pathetic heap of mush
• He’s also
  • walked 769 miles
  • eaten 832 two hot dinners
  • visited 354 schools
  • been chased by a squirrel
  • said the word ‘liquid’ 86 times
  • put on a stone in weight
  • shrunk 3 millimetres
  • and written lots more books - more on these in a mo’ ...
• Correction: the third item should have read: Been bitten by a horse fly, which he then slapped senseless, instantly reducing it to a pathetic heap of mush

Michael's latest books!!!

Click on any cover to go to a complete list of Michael's books.

Captain Codswallop and the Flying Kipper by Michael Cox
A Hurricane of high seas hi-jinks, nautical naughtiness and maritime mix-ups, involving Captain Codswallop and his pirate pals, a couple of very desperate highwaymen, the Spanish Armada, a pile of fish, and thousands of mysterious, beige, lumpy things!

Warning: someone described this book as a 'laugh-out-loud romp' so please don't read it in places where your chuckles, guffaws and hysterical shrieks are likely to disturb the sleeping inmates eg public libraries, school assemblies, granaries (old folks homes), the Houses of Parliament (another sort of old folks home) etc.

Little Fred Riding Hood by Michael Cox
This won a 'Story of the Year' award a few years ago, and now it's been republished in glorious flat-screen, high-definition-ready technicolour with bonus verbs, adjectives and pronouns...and all for the stupid price of £3.99.

Wilf Wolf's favourite book is Little Red Riding Hood. Returning from shopping at Wolfworths, he meets little Fred Hood and his ever-so-sweet granny and so begins an adventure involvimg baskets of goodies, lonely cottages and old ladies. But things don't turn out quite the way Wilf wants them to.

Romeo and Juliet by Michael Cox

This time, Romeo and Juliet live on a Nottingham housing estate where the Montague and Capulet families collect ASBO's like other people collect Tesco loyalty points. The inside story is told by Baz, Romeo's mate and helper. Just like Shakespeare's original, it's packed with all manner of action and intrigue, not to mention a generous helping of 'lurve'. And of course, it has more twists and turns than Ma Capulet's curly blonde wig, more razzle-dazzle than Boss Montague's Armani track suit, and more bad-mouthing than a week's worth of East Enders. As Baz says, 'I mean, one gang fight, three murders and two suicides on one estate in a single week is a lot in anyone's books, innit?'

Horribly Famous Pirates and Their Caribbean Capers by Michael Cox
This book will probably make you want to run away to land! Real pirates were a thousand times wickeder and weirder than any storybook swashbuckler! They scared seafarers shirtless from the Bahamas to Brazil and from Carolina to China. And, between 1500 and 1730, the Caribbean Sea was positively seething with them! If you want to find out why Horrible Henry Morgan and his thousand strong pirate posse ate their own shoes, where William Dampier had a two foot long worm dangling from, why Captain Kidd had to be hanged twice, then covered all over in tar, who bit off Sadie the Goat's ear, how many times Blackbeard had to be shot and sliced before he would die, and why it was important for pirates to keep their bottoms clean, plus boatloads more fiercesome facts, stories of seagoing shenanigans and murderous maritime memoirs, this book is for you!